When Insults Had Class

Merely a tiny sample of prose so clever and biting it was difficult to feel truly insulted by the speaker; rather one might be a bit flattered that such commentary was inspired by one. Check and see if anyone in particular comes to mind as you read these pithy quotes. Thank you to Op99 for the compilation.

“He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.”
— Winston Churchill

“Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I’ll waste no time reading it.”
— Moses Hadas

“He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.”
— Abraham Lincoln

“I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it.”
— Groucho Marx

“He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.”
— Oscar Wilde

“I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play, bring
a friend . . . if you have one.”
— George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
RESPONSE:
“Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second . . .
if there is one.”
— Winston Churchill to GBS

“I feel so miserable without you, it’s almost like having you here.”
— Stephen Bishop

“I’ve just learned about his illness. Let’s hope it’s nothing trivial.”
— Irvin S. Cobb

“He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up.”
— Paul Keating

“He had delusions of adequacy.”
— Walter Kerr

“There’s nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won’t cure.”
— Jack E. Leonard

“He has the attention span of a lightning bolt.”
— Robert Redford

“They never open their mouths without subtracting from the
sum of human knowledge.”
— Thomas Bra ckett Reed

(about Richard Nixon) “He inherited some good instincts from his Quaker
forebears, but by diligent hard work, he overcame them.”
— James Reston

“In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded
easily.”
— Charles, Count Talleyrand

“Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any
address on it?”
— Mark Twain

“His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.”
— Mae West

“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.”
— Oscar Wilde